Florida Shenanigans, Cocktails, and Unfiltered Fun

Florida Shenanigans, Cocktails, and Unfiltered Fun - If You Want Me to Be Honest Episode 1

Join April and Cindy on 'If You Want Me to Be Honest,' a podcast where they dive into raw, unedited discussions about life, love, and Florida's wild stories. Laugh along as they share cocktails, talk about funny news involving Florida's oddities, reminisce hilarious drunk antics, and answer spontaneous questions. This episode promises unfiltered fun, a cocktail recipe, and a bit of chaos. Follow their journey through entertaining segments and honest conversations that are sure to keep you hooked!

00:00 Welcome to the Podcast

00:33 A Crazy Day Begins

01:38 Cocktail Time

02:21 Funny Stories and Q&A

09:56 Celebrity Swap and Reality TV

15:29 Pets and Lazy Dinners

24:06 Drinks and Awkward Middle School Memories

24:35 Trends and Teenage Tics

26:15 Funny News Stories from Florida

27:00 Scuba Gear Robbery at Disney Springs

29:56 Battery Charges in The Villages

32:09 Alligator Encounter in Land O Lakes

35:48 Manatee Molestation Incident

39:45 Who's Most Likely Game

43:40 Upcoming Plans and Final Thoughts

Transcript

Vernon: 0:00

Welcome to"If You Want Me to Be Honest," the podcast where we keep it real, share laughs, and dive into the craziest stories you've never heard. Join your hosts April and Cindy as they bring you their unique take on life, love, and all the wild things happening in Florida. Get ready for an unfiltered journey filled with honest conversations, hilarious moments, and maybe a cocktail or two. Thanks for tuning in! Hi guys. It's us again at, if you want me to be honest. What the fuck? This has been a crazy day. If you want me to be honest. It's been fucked up. So welcome to our show. Hi guys, our podcast. We done fucked up the intro. It's fine, it's fine. Whatever. You know where you're at, who we are. I'm April. I'm Cindy, and we're here to tell you some crazy shit that's been going on. I think today we're gonna talk about a couple of different things as far as, um, we have some fun question and answers. Great. My favorite, my favorite. Ding d Yay. Um, I, I found a few funny, crazy stories in Florida. You would, we're gonna do Florida Man. Florida Woman Florida. Holy shit. Y'all are messed up. Um, as a segment. Okay, as usual, I have my notes and I didn't send them this time to Cindy, thank God, because I don't want no homework. She think it's homework. Um, but before we go into anything you all know and behind my head, first we must do cocktails. Yes, we do. And so we have our drink. It's Friday night in case anybody's wondering, it's not like, we're we drinking? Oh, okay. You ready? Ready. Oh, so I was the child this time blowing bubbles. I taught you. Well, you gotta blow it. That's what he said. Okay. Sorry. Not sorry. Good. Mm-hmm. That is our Amaretto Island punch is what it's called. It's our favorite so far. Yes. Or mine. So I just came so we decided to do a repeat. Yeah. But I do get a surprise for her too. I love you. Ready surprises. Let's go. You ready? What? Okay. I got us a little special. Okay. I can't see right now. Everybody. Okay. We're gonna try these little things. Are we ready? I can't see'em. Where am I going This way? Oh shit. Sorry. Okay. Look this. Look. Yay. Ooh. Fancy pants. Ooh, now you know that's some redneck Florida shit. Oh, you got a mason jar. You know what I keep doing though? What? I'm going like this. Trying to Oh yeah. Because you're staring at yourself. Yes. I just like to look at myself. Look at the, anyway, look at the camera. These are for me and her to try. This one is banana pudding. I tried this one before. Once. I thought it was good. This is sour watermelon, but I like the color, so I got it. She was like, it's me. Yes. So either you can just shot it and shot it or we can try and try. I say taste and taste. Tasty taste. Tasty taste. All right. I got, oh, you brought us some. Some cute little shoddy puppies. Uhhuh. Good job. I told you Girl Scout, always be prepared. Smells good. Do Oh, don't spill it on my notes though. God forbid we go off of them. Oh God. I'm scared to do this. Oh, it looks like banana. Wait, it looks like baby formula. It smells like banana pudding way too. Oh, mine's a little bit bigger than yours. That's, that's what he said. Smell. Hey, smell. I hope she didn't say that. Mmm. Yes. You know what it, it smells like banana nut bread to me. Yes. With the nuts. Yeah. Okay. I don't even wanna touch that. We're gonna try, we're gonna try. Okay. Ready? I'm pretty sniffy. Sniff. Yeah. Cheer. Cheer. Toast. What do they say? Up, up the, I don't think that's how, what they say Cho cho? No. What they say something. Drink it up. Salute. Oh. Over the gums. Watch out. Here he comes down the road. I don't know. That was nasty. Was nasty. Cheers, bitch. One more toast. Okay, that's not bad at all. Come on. That's really good for alcohol, but what is that? Grain Alcohol. Okay. Okay. I don't know. I don't know, but I don't know if we should mix that one in this same cup. Well, I don't know if you all know, but. I keep a secret stash of these shit like I'm in here. Look at us. And not that I'm an alcoholic. No, my husband is. I don't know about this sour shit. Oh, here we go. Well sour. Well, I'll make sure you get the most doubt. God help us. I'm just going to say it. Don't smell as good as the first one. I can tell you that and I can almost, that's what he said. Oh, and I can tell you this ain't gonna be as good either. Really? Lemme smell it. I just, that one's pretty good. Let's do the smell test. I smell. Oh, I smell watermelon. Jolly Rancher. Yeah, but barely and sour. Do you like Jolly Ranchers? This is sour. Yeah, that's perfect. Sour. Sour watermelon. Sour. That's when I got to it. I knew it. I knew it. Okay. You ready? Okay. You ready? Ooh, mommy. Cheers. Cheers to them ears. What? Don't fucking dude. Okay. Bye. Ugh. Yeah. Okay. That's about as sour as I am. I liked it. The banana one's better. Oh, banana's definitely better. Yeah. So, um, yeah, we gotta get this again. Um, you know, I'm not, that's good. I'm not gonna lie. What? I kind of like the mix of the two. We should have mixed it all in one cup. Oh, we'd be throwing off, but you got a million of these, so I just, yeah, I got STEs. You're good. Yeah. I mean, not that they're here hidden back here, not that we're alcoholics here or anything. As we drink on our drink again. Well, the sourness. You gotta wash it down. Little Chase chaser for you. Now this show's gonna get good. Okay? Hang in there till the end because this shit's gonna be off the chain by then. All right? All right. What we got here? Here's what I'm thinking we're gonna do, okay? There's a couple little segments that I'd like to do, okay? First, I'd like to be able to breathe properly. Okay. Um, the first one's gonna be kind of just random situations. Okay. Okay. That I'm going to ask. It's always me asking you. That's what I, I know because you just reaction is funnier. Okay. I'm gonna try not to, so I'm gonna give you a couple questions. Okay. I got this. And then you're gonna give us your honest. Yeah, if you want me to be honest, you want me to be honest'cause you know, we don't. Okay. Um, answer. Okay. I'm gonna give you some easy ones first, please. If you had to delete one app off your phone forever, which one would it be? Or that you'd be really happy to get rid of? Happy? Mm-hmm. I don't know if I'd be happy, but I can get rid of Groupon. Yes. You know why? Yes. I'll tell you why too. Why? Because I can't, I'm the person that if I got emails or if I got the little one, little one and the little, I can't take it. Yeah. And it gives me a notification all the time. And I have to go in it just to get the notification off. Yes. It just annoys the shit outta me. My emails I go through and I delete each and every one of'em. Nathan said, what are you doing that for? Just hit red and go on with your life. Who would have thousands of emails? I can't remember that one time I did that you saw and you looked in dear. I can't. My like 2000. I would die. I would die. I would die. I mean, I've gotten better. I've learned that, God, it's okay to delete shit. Like it doesn't have to be Whatcha are you keeping junk for? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I agree. So I hear you. I'm not mad about it anyway. It would be Groupon. Is it Groupon? Am I saying the right thing? Yeah. Yeah. That you get. Cheap your stuff on. And I just got that. That's where I got your hotel on road for your birthday. Hey, I gotta get my deals where I can get my deals. No, I would. I would too, but Okay. That's the one I would first get rid of. Okay. I can agree with that. I can tell you this. Groupon just messaged me. Remember how we talked about the algorithm? Mm-hmm. Your favorite word. Um, my phone definitely has, it's out, out for me. It either wants all my money. Story of your life or it knows I need a break because it just, I'm not gonna lie to you said take a break. I'm gonna tell you what it said to me. You know why?'cause I was telling you today, you too much. The spa is calling. You sure is. Answer your phone. It says it's, and it was a big group up. What the hell he's doing. Both. He's true. Was trying to get your money.'cause you gotta take me and, and it's like you need a break. You need it. You need a break. Girl, you, you and your friend. No, I've been telling you that. You do way too much. But hey, that's another, another thing. But Groupons, who's telling me this, they try to, it's, you're on that bond. I know. Money's flying. I know. Anyway, anyway. Groupon could be the one. Okay. Okay. I can feel that that was a man. Okay. Sorry. Yeah, we go on those TV every once in a while. Okay. So if you could swap lives with any celebrity for one day, one day, that's hard, who would it be? Uh, just off the top of your head. Only one day. Don't get crazy. I know, but I've really gotta think lives about this because, I mean, there's a lot I'd trade for just the day just to see. But then again, what kind of people are they? So that, that's where I go deep. Oh, oh yeah. I think about a lot. A lot of stuff. So that's, you go too far. Like I go too far. Um, I think celebrity wise that I would like to swap. I try to find wine. The richest girl. I mean, I just take the rock's wife. I'm good with that. That's the one. Right. One day. See, you're thinking about the man I was talking about the I'm morals thinking about the man. Fuck that shit. Okay. I was think thinking about the man there goes, that's the comparison. Right? Okay. Your morals, my lust is a problem. Yes. I did have money in mind. Yeah. Yeah. Me. But that's, there were a couple of different options there for me. Yeah. Not that I don't love my husband, but it's only one day, babe. I mean, you could handle it one day. What are we doing here? Woo hoo. Just saying. Alright, I like that. On that note, take a drink. Let's take a drink to the Rock's. Wife, we cheers you. Did you see Housewives is doing a white swap? Hold up. Coming out. She was died. She was died. Uh, how or who? Housewives Uhhuh. What do you mean? It's coming out? They're doing wife swap. Remember wife swap from back in the deck? Yeah. They always should come stay in this. Do my life once. Yeah. But it depends on where you're gonna go. Oh, where these bitches is going. But they ain't that bad. They, they're all rich. Uh, they ain't going to, they're cleaning toilets, girl. They're going. Because it's swapped. They're giving clean toilets. They do. No, I'm saying they don't. Right. So why are they clean the toilet? They're swap swapping with with real fucking people. I thought you meant with each other. No. Oh no. Welcome to the Real World bitches. Please, please let us be one of the swapper, right? Please. Yeah. Yeah. That's what they're doing. Isn't that crazy? Yes. That's awesome. I love it. I love it. I think it's great. I'm gonna want you, you know what, they used to be that way. They used to have to take care of their kids and do the toilets. Yes. And, uh, run out to the school bus with your hair in a bun and your robe on. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, that's real mom shit. Oh, imagine they picked us to do it, dude. They ain't stupid. They're like, well, that'd be fun. Could you imagine people, okay, first of all, I'll be shopping to who, who do you think, what housewife would you want to swap with for the dances a weekend? Again, um, I can't wait. I mean, I would really take any of'em just because they're all rich. Right. So where would you want to go? Like would you, which one, which franchise would you wanna do? Oh, um, probably Beverly Hills. Yeah. Okay. Now the problem is there's only so many husbands left. Yeah. I would've said Kyle. Yes. Yes, because I love her. Um, but she's broke up and CIO was, yeah. Yeah. But they broke up. But I would upset her, um, dude, Kathy Hilton. Well, yeah. Are you kidding me? Yeah. Oh, you going to Kathy Hilton's house? What you doing? Shit. That's what I like about that, is they have rules, so. Oh no. When you first go there, it's the rules of that she leaves you behind. So yes. Yeah, that's what they do. Dude, this show is gonna be, so I can't wait to watch it. When does it start? Because I think it's gonna be hilarious. I think it's coming October 12th or Oh, sometime in October. It's gonna be on Bravo. I saw it's on Hulu, so I don't know if it's gonna air on Peacock or somebody like that. Um, if we ain't allowed to say those names, just ignore them. Oh, okay. Um, but yeah, it, it's supposed to be on something like that. But dude, that it's gonna be good. I'm, I'm interested. They usually leave rules that you gotta follow that, that they have to follow. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So, vice versa though. Yes, they gotta go to, but what's rules? Could you imagine? Shop all day? Could you imagine them coming to your house with your rules? Oh bitch, what's wrong with my rules? Ain't nothing wrong with my rules. Rules, rules for your man. Nobody's coming to my house. Hello? Hello. Hello. The shed. First of all, you sleeping in the backyard? You better pitch 10. And I got blink on constantly. Yeah, no, that work was Don't, don't pick me. Right. Never. Let me just go to them. No. Yeah. They don't need to come here. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought that was awesome though. I didn't think about that part. Sorry, I got your back buddy. Don't worry. Alright, moving on. What's the most adult purchase you're ever, you've ever been proud of? Proud of? Mm-hmm. Buying my house. I know it well, what the heck? I mean, just shame us Non house buyers of my house. Well, what else? Could there be a car? No. No, you're good. But you know what, buys okay, you now I, I was so happy. I'm looking good. I'm gonna get her here she goes. You know what? My most proud. My son's education. Nice. Yeah, I didn't pay for my daughter, she paid for herself. I was just kidding. I was just, um, I don't really have any boo. You want me to name some for you? You've had 55 cars and trucks. Okay. Okay. No, let's move on. That was a good one. I'm just saying. Okay. Um, if your pet could talk for 24 hours, what's the first thing it would roast you about? All made to pretend to be your pet. Me. Let's be each other's pet. Okay? Okay. Oh, you're gonna be mine. Okay. Hold and I'm gonna be yours. So think about what, what Tippy and mocha. Would say to me, and don't be too rude. Okay. I, I'm trying to, she knows some I'm, she knows some shit. Let's be honest. I'm trying, but not, I'm trying to think crazy. Okay. I'm just saying all if you want me to be honest. Okay. You go first. Okay. So here's, if I was your pet. Yeah. What could you say about. Bitch, it's hot as fuck in this house because Did you turn the AC down? You guys that I've been saying that too. I'm Mark's pit. I mean, we sweating, we're sweating up in here. Okay. You're right, you're right. Well, that was a, that was a nice one. It's'cause I'm the nice one. Yeah. Okay. Um, guys say this shit girl. I don't give a fuck. Hold on. Okay, so I'm Mocha. You're Mocha. Okay. Stop fucking feeding me. I'm a badass. You're welcome. You're welcome. I'm gonna flash a picture so that you all can understand of my little Momo up here. We're gonna put her right about there. Okay? Yeah. It's sad. She probably is like, bitch, gimme some of that Tri Z peptide jar. Yeah. I'm tired of her reporting on me. I, well, that's due to her habit, her eating habit. I'm sorry, buddy. Okay, moving on. Poor fat rack anyway. What's your go-to lazy dinner? A sandwich. Yeah. I don't care. She ain't gonna say every dinner bitch. If I got a, if I'm cooking it, it's a sandwich. Oh, that's what, if I'm cooking it's leftovers of whatever the fuck you just cook. We ate leftovers all week. Oh bitch, you ain't eating leftovers of my cooking. I can tell you that. You know how I cook. That's true. Yeah. But y'all cook for like 50 people and there's two. True. That's why I say you can eat it all week. That's my laser lazy dinner. You know how I cook. I'll be on my phone scrolling and I'm like, Ooh. That looks like a good recipe forward. See right to him. You're lucky. I, I look at them and I'm like, that looks good. And then they start adding, adding and adding and adding. Bye. After you get past three things, I'm done. Done. Gotta go. All right. I like that. I'm right. Now we're gonna go into a little bit more spots. See? Oh, great. Now, you know, some of these might not be the best of best, but let's see. Mm-hmm. Might be stupid as hell to be honest with you. Okay. Okay. If your partner gave you the remote for the night, what's the first thing you're watching? The first. Mm-hmm. All my reality shows. And if not Big Bang Theory, then that's what I do right now. If my partner gave me the remote. Mm-hmm. I'm gonna be honest with you. You turn it off, go to sleep. No. Watching whatever the hell I want to watch. But what is that? And that's normal. But what is that though? It could be Fox News. It could be, yeah, peacock Housewives. It could be something on reality. Yeah, but that's reality. Or like last night, I shut that bitch off and went to sleep and just listened to sounds. He said, this sounds like a spa. Listen. A spa. I'm trying to project myself. To a certain place. To a, okay. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe that's why my phone did that shit. See these phone, I'm telling you. AI's getting crazy. Anyway, all right. I'm right. I'm right. Let's go next. Okay. What's the most ridiculous thing you've ever done After a couple of drinks? What's the most ridiculous try to dance? Mine was try to walk you. It reminds me of a good story. Let's do story time. Okay. Remember when we had that 4th of July party at your house? Oh boy. We call it the two o'clock. Shut down. Seven o'clock stop. Seven o'clock. Stop. I don't even calls. I don't think it got to seven o'clock. No. It was two hours of full on. How did it go so fast? I don't know. Well,'cause we were drinking. I was, when we were drinking, I was pretty tipsy. That was the, I was puking in your woods in the front. Swell so bad that my poor nephew had to come over. And I like a picture of that in eight. Come on. I have a picture of that. I got you. I got you. Yeah. Alright. So do I. You know what it was though? We got my pool and did a big, we kept going around around, well, y'all are asshole for that with me in the center, and it just kept pulling me. It was funny. Yeah, I thought it was funny. That's what that question reminds me of though. Mm-hmm. What's the dumbest thing I've ever tried to do? Getting a fucking pool while it's going in A whirlwind. Okay. That is the after drinking. Holy shit. I thought I could handle it. Anyway, moving on next. This is gonna be a bad one, not a bad one. If marriage came with Yelp reviews, what would your spouse rate you? Uh, it better be a five star bitch. Um, Uhhuh, um, I'm, I'm gonna, if you want me to be honest, I do, I would think he would rate me a four, 3.54. Wow. Okay. A 3.54 Only because I bitch a lot. Five, four. I bitch a lot. A three and a half star. Well, I'm just saying three or four. I'd say four. I'd say four. And, and do you think that that's deserving? A three and a half star? No, three and a half. Four. Oh, we're going four. Yeah, I'm doing four. Oh, okay. Three and a half is kind of low now that I think about it. Four. Yeah. Three and a half think gets desing. I mean, I've seen some hotels that get three. Yeah. 3.5 star. Yeah, that's why I thought about that. Now I wouldn't roll up in that ditch. Exactly. I think a four and I think it's deserving. Have you ever done that? Gone to a hotel, pulled in and drove out? No, but I, because you seen that only one time. I almost did, but I didn't want to hurt my daughter's feeling. You didn't? It was, it was tough for me. Yeah. Tough. That was a recent one. Yeah. It was very tough for me. I, I couldn't, Scott and I had actually done that. Pulled off. Oh yeah. Smart, smart. Pulled up, walked it. I was like, looked around and I was like, Hmm, no. Hmm. This isn't gonna look that great. We walked in, checked in, went to check in, looked around, and I said, yeah, no, we're out. Yeah. I get it. If my daughter wasn't staying at the same one and I was Yeah. Yeah. Would've being there to would protect. Gone. Gone. Done. She gone. Bonzo. She gone. Oh. Like Jimmy Kimmel, I don't give a shit. Bye bitch. Bye Felicia. Anyway. What's the funniest excuse you ever used to get out of something? The funniest? Yeah. Like you shit your pants. I've never done, I've. You never shit your pants. I've never shit my pants for real? Who shits their pants? What the fuck? Okay, let's be honest. You've never had, I mean, at two or three all fart, you should not have trusted and shit yourself. Shit myself. No, really. I've never shit myself. Now I've farted and had to be, why do you do this? I've gotta run like, oh shit, I'm about to piss myself. This is why she shits and piss herself all the time. I have no bodily functions. These all do. I mean, what do you want me to say? I, I, I'm sorry, but never. Shit myself. Why do you act so shocked? Who, dude, I think everybody in my family has shit. Their son. You got shitting him, farting problems, including my mama, my daddy. I mean, my granny mark's never shit. His pants that I know of. Stop for real, but, but Mark would never tell, mark would never tell her. First of all. You see how shocked she is that I'm talking about it. I need another drink. Okay. I'm just checking. I mean, you're not even done. The one you got. I need another sip. I another drink. Oh, oh, oh, okay. My throat is dry too. Yeah. Okay, next. All right, so moving on. What's one trend? You'll never understand the word trend. Woo. Just kidding. But for real, it was kind of real. Mm. Hold on trend. Well, there, you know, like teenagers say dumb things and they'll, like Brina used to have, I called'em ticks, Uhhuh, but it was things that all the teenagers were saying and they would just burst out and say something. Or like they got got Tourettes and they don't, yeah. I'm like, dude, don't be an idiot. I know. So isn't it crazy to see the shit that, like, to think back when Gabby. And, um, BRINO. Were in like middle school. Mm-hmm. Middle school is when I think you're the most awkward, don't you think? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think so too. I think that your body's developing, you don't really know and what you're feeling or who you're looking at. Asshole. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why you feel this way? Because somebody treated you that way? Because the hormones, your hormones are going crazy. Yeah. They're rage and rage. Yeah. I think that's, that's when I look at like. My kids, and I think you're fucking weird. Well, yeah, and then I think, did my mom think that about me? Absolutely. She still, she still still thinks that, let's call her. Speaking of which, online one, we have debt. Just kidding. Anyway, so that was a fun, yay. Yay. Good job. You survived that. It wasn't that bad, right? I mean, it got rough. You got scared for a minute, didn't you? Yeah. All right. But I'm good. I'm good. Good, good. So, like I said earlier, I wanted to talk about, like, funny things in the news, because the news has been a bit traumatic lately. Let's be real for sure. Um, this past week, of course, and we touched on it last episode, so not looking to, well, last episode was when we, we, yeah. It was breaking breaking when we started. Yeah. Which turned into worse. Yeah. Tragedy. Yeah. So, um, I'd like to do some funny in the news. Okay, let's go. Okay, so I looked around Florida. Let me just pull up some of my things. Great. Mm-hmm. Welcome to Florida. She finds the weirdest shit. Well, Florida's got all sorts of creatures. Creatures, okay. Big and small. Most of'em are big. Okay. Speaking of which, okay, here's a funny little synopsis, story. Synopsis. Is that a word? I don't know. I make shit up. Okay. Synopsis is a word I thought it was. I don't. I like to throw these big words out there. Yeah. So I can ask you later. Did you, is that a word? And then I'm like, it really didn't even fit in that conversation. Just so you know. This is why I don't learn nothing. Okay. This is not for your education. Education, okay. If you want me to be on this, all right. As you can see, I'm pointing right at the sign. Mm-hmm. Okay. Anyway, so. Currently this Lake Winni Vista, this past week. Yeah. I like Lake Win Vista. Yeah. This is your favorite place. Okay. This is the pirate ship hotel area. Right? All right. Yep. I love that place. Yep. That's where we used to take girls when they was little. Yes. Well, guess what happened? Disney Springs, and this is a true, true story, no joke. There's a restaurant there mm-hmm. Called Paddlefish. It's a big boat. Yes. Big boat restaurant walked by a million water a million times. Hence the word Lake Buena Vista. Okay. Okay. Somebody robbed that place in a full blown scuba fucking gear. How'd they get there? Scuba diver. They jumped back in the water at the end of the night. The cops think he. He or she? We don't want to claim the Oh, they're not busted. Oh. No. Name found them. They got away. Yeah. Good. That was a good robbery play. Oh good. Shit. The hell they got away. How I they think got in the water and swam off on the scuba ate their ass. No, no. They, they. I hope that'd be some funny. Ain't that some ironic shit. Alligator had to dude full blown scuba gear. This is what I like. They had this black like, um, scuba. Piece on'em. Like plastic. Right. Okay. Or rubber or whatever. But they had it on goggles because they had to clever their eyes. Not, not okay. But you don't that you can't even see them. I've never seen scuba like that. Scubas like this. You know what I mean? Scuba. Yeah. Right. Uhhuh ain't it? And then you got the little right there. I'm just saying that's scuba. Yes. No, this bitch had on fucking little tiny ass goggles, like he was going swimming in a pool. He didn't swim far slick, sprayed off the camera. They show him going, oh my. Were there people then there, yeah, the end of the night crew. It was like midnight. This is di, downtown Disney Springs. Wow, that's amazing. In the water. Got a couple thousand and they didn't catch'em. They haven't got'em yet. It's a guy. Guys always do shit like that. I hope it's a woman. It's a, it's, I'm just saying. It's, it's a dude. Yeah, I think so too. Oh, God. Now, interesting woman. Here's a, let's go to a woman's story. Okay. This is a long one. A, a long, a real long one. What do you mean long? So, a Florida woman was arrested on battery charges after allegedly pushing a 73-year-old woman to the ground during a remembrance of Charlie Kirk. Who pushed, who pushed a 40 something year old woman? Oh no, I'm sorry. I apologize. Let me get my story right. She was 56, a 56-year-old woman, pushed, shoved down a 73-year-old woman dur in the villages. First of all, if you don't know what the villages is, oh my god, it's a swinger's area in Florida. Okay. So if you're a swinger and you're older. Over 50. You know that's your spot. Okay. We call it a upside down pineapple. Okie dokey. That's what they do. Okay. That's the villages. Okay. So a lady, they were doing her pushed down an older lady. Yeah. Not all of the villages, but they have the highest STD rate. That's weird. That crazy. Yes. They're all a bunch of weirdos. But anyway, yeah, she aggressively pushed down a 73-year-old woman during. The remembrance of Charlie Kirk because she was yelling and screaming shit she shouldn't have. And the lady came up and said, I'm sorry, but you're gonna have to leave. And she shoved her. The older lady told her to leave? Yeah. And she pushed her down. Mm-hmm. Banged her head. She had some injuries. What a, what an idiot. So, you know, that was, that's, that's the lovely news of the villages. Yeah. This was my favorite story. This actually aired on Fox News tonight. It did. You know, you're famous when you start hitting Fox News. M-S-N-B-C, ccb, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. All the big major news outlets, right. Alrightyy What? What's it? Land O Lakes, Florida. Land O Lakes. Hey, this is where they took the little Indian off of the butter, the mm-hmm. Took them. They took'em off. You know what they did? They stole the land from the Indian again. They sure did. Sure the fuck did. But anyway, got them. Just saying, um, alligators are part of life in central Florida. Yep. And small dogs are easy prey. This lady whooped this alligator's ass. Good for her. Whooped its ass.'cause it was trying to get her, her little cup. Good. She had, they showed pictures. Oh yeah, I seen that. You seen that? Mm-hmm. She had, she said she punched it. She dropped an elbow, put it head older. She looked like an older lady bitch. Looked around my age. Okay. I'm not sure. Let's read this. It was a four month old Dax, I'm assuming a d. Aww, right. Good for her. Four month old sweet little puppy. All these damn alligators. Man, I don't even, like all alligators. I mean, I would've dropped that elbow and then cooked his ass. Oh my God. Made some boots out of'em. I probably would've froze. Ate the tail. Ate the tail. Oh, loving some gator tail. Boy, you ain't never had none come to Florida. Anyway. Yeah, so that was a pretty fricking crazy good for her. You saw that report though, right? Yeah, yeah, I did. Oh my God, I couldn't believe it. I, I hate to say this. There she goes, let's give our honest truth there. She goes. I love puppies. I'm a dog lover. Your whole family is. We are. I don't know that I'm fighting a gator. I'm gonna be honest. I feel like you would though. I might. I would be the one that be like, I might grab, yeah, I'm done now. This is what I was thinking when I was reading this story. You saved my husband. You? No. No. What a face. And I let it go. I mean, you're, I I gave you back your husband, girl, and you wanted Thanks. Any knew who? Just kidding. Just kidding. I'm kidding. No. What? I knew you were gonna be like, uh, I'd probably freeze Fuck the dog. Yeah. Lies Because when Fat Pig fell into my pool, you're right. This, but it wasn't no gator. It was like a gator for her. I mean, she was in the jaws of drowning bro. Show when I did that, and that was a fat balling ball. You talk shit about my fatel, I was drowned. You take my schmuel and just sm her. It's a bulldog. They're all fat. So is she. She's tall and fat. That's rude. And gave, you're that out. Me. I gave special food. I didn't give her snacks. Oh, not like me. No. Every time I go out, there's. I agree. Little cups of ice creams for them. Mm-hmm. Snacks, bones, jar, cookies. I mean, I'm just trying to slowly take'em out instead of letting a gator eat'em. Exactly. A gator can't take that down. No, bitch, you ain't getting, that's why I say I, I make'em fat so that Gators can't take them out. There you go. There you go. Anyway, I thought about that when I read that story. I was like, Cindy would definitely, she's doing it. This bitch jump in the water. It was a pool in the deep end in the pool, but I was drown. God was 600 pound dog over, over her head, and I was drowning, holding the dog drown over in the head. She was, and I seen through the water I was drowning. Scott Scott picked the dog up and took him. I'm like, thank, I was drowning. I was about to have to drop the dog. I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe it. That was some crazy shit because, well, at first I was like, come up, come up, come up. No, she fro froze and went straight to the bottom and just stood there like a statue. All because of somebody's kid. Yeah. On the candy. Lose your ass kid. I'm just kidding. Anyway, on that note, let's drink. Okay. Cheers. Little cheers. Mm-hmm. Alright, so my next story for y'all's entertainment is some bullshit. I can tell you already, 20-year-old man arrested last week after molesting a manatee. You heard it here first. Why? Why? I said Mo thing did. You could say that like people don't want that in their minds. Okay, but did you not? Is that real? We have signs that say do not feed or molest. It does not say that. They don't say don't molest. It says Do not molest the alligators or manatees. You're lying hand. God, bro. You are lying. Hand to God. Hand to God says that would put that sign out there. I'm taking you. I'm taking you to please do a place that's right around the corner. I'm gonna put it on TikTok, so pay attention in this town. I'm gonna take you there and it says Don't mo molest. And it says Do not molest. Or how are you gonna molest the gator? Gator gonna fuck you. What? Stop. Don't say it. I don't. Alright. I want a picture of it. I'm gonna take a picture of that sign. Yeah. Because you gotta be a completely, and then you're gonna go on. Apologize to me. I will. I will. And say, and then I'm gonna say, the world is don't tell lies. She's disgusting. If you gotta say that, molesting does not only mean sexual, inter, oh, what does it mean? What the hell does it mean? Molesting, harassing. Say harassing me. That's what I said, but alright. This one got a little sexual. See? No, it says no. I'm gonna read the whole story for y'all. It's real. This is not long. It's not that long. I promise. Okay. It's a hundred percent real and it's very sad where he is from. But let me finish it and you can just have your reaction. 23-year-old man was arrested last week after molesting a manatee. Statue. Okay, so he c caressed it outside a Florida bar and throwing gator nuggets into the bar's dining area. Authorities confirmed the incident was reported Friday night at Rick's Reef Seafood in St. Pete Beach, Florida. According to Pinellas County Sheriff's, I am not gonna say his name of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. He was a bit intoxicated. He became physically aggressive and started humping the gator. Was he joking? Like we hump things? It wasn't a real gator, but it was the statue. Yeah, but he would do that. He was playing. Yeah. If you're playing well, when you start throwing some gator tail, I mean, technically he was arrested. He was. He got some real gator tail that day, boy. Oh my God. Yeah. This was, isn't that crazy shit, dude going to hell in a hand? He flipped out. He was disorderly, got arrested for intoxication. Yeah, but I thought that was the funniest damn thing. Do now for real. Okay. This was a statue, but for real, our signs do say that, but they mo something else. But my last they mean. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So why would, would you put harass, bothered touch? Uh, because I mean, that's the real, I guess meaning of that word. Rubbing inappropriately. I mean, I can't, have you seen those videos of people doing that where they No, they, no, you, I've never even heard of this before. Oh my God, dude, I'm gonna see you're on the internet way too much. Here goes your algorithm. Yeah, you're screwed. That's, see, the problem is you start with shit like that and then keep showing you shit. True. True. You don't mind shit shows. I know. Jesus. Exactly. Loves and then funny things about kids and or harassing memes about work. Yeah. Yeah. I know. So is mine. So does mine. And lots of food. Now I didn't Google. Mine ain't a lot of food, but it's some food. Oh, mine's a lot. I'm a starving bitch or something. Well, that's'cause I got it. Your husband cooks and you send it to, I guess. I guess. I guess so we're gonna do a final round of who's most likely. Great. Alright, let's go. So here's what, this is gonna be a version like, um, have you ever played? Never Have I Ever. Yes, of course I have. Really? We played it on the beach and I learned some shit about gymnastic. Oh God. That's right. Nasty happen. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Any who? And of course I was good. Boring. Is that what you meant? Pretty much. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Um, so I'm gonna say a question. Okay. And then you can come up with your own. Oh, great. You should. You should've warned me about this. No, this is the point of it. Yeah. This is kind of a speed round. Okay. Okay. Who's most likely to answer their phone during a podcast? You, but it depends on who it would be. Okay. I like that answer, not that person. That's why I asked it. Okay. We're gonna do five questions. You would be a hundred percent. There's five. Listen. Yeah, I know Uhhuh. Okay. By the way, if you can hear noise in the background, I apologize, but we have some extremely loud men. Yeah, they don't shut up. They love this podcast and wanna be on. So it's the only way they can be on is by. Yeah. Um, we like to call them chicken heads. That's the term they used to use for us when we were back in the day. Remember that? Yeah. Yeah. I heard Scott say it a few times still. Yeah, he still does. And he calls me a yol. Yeah. Which is a fancy name for what. Bitch for you over there? Yeah. Okay. I mean, that's what I think. Okay. And I'm gonna keep thinking it that way. Mm-hmm. Anyway, you are most likely to answer the phone. No, that's you. No, that's me. I take it. Oh. So now I got. Dude, you should have warned me. I gotta think of this on the spot. You know, I'm not good on the spot. I just made that one up. Yeah, but you, you're a bullshit or bullshitter. Okay. Who's most likely? I'm also a shitter. Yeah, you got that one. Evidently Uhhuh. Um, who's, who's most likely to shit their pants? Yeah, I could ask that. You know, obviously a Jew, um, who's most likely to, I don't know. Um. Run their car on E with the light that comes on most likely to, yeah, I'm gonna out of us. Yeah. Okay.'cause I was gonna say, yeah, your daughter, you could pick. I'm just say, yeah. Who's most likely to run their phone down to zero? Fuck are all these questions about me? Well, I mean, can we have some positive about me? Who's most likely. Well, but you can't even think of it. No, I mean, I was trying how to word it. Who's most likely to bitch their husband to death? Me and me. Who's most likely to Who's, who's most, um, I'm trying to see how to word it. Who's, who gives more you? Who works more? You. Oh, now she's trying to be nice. Okay. Well, I'm trying to, you said, okay, positive who, um, that's a bunch of bullshit. The bullshit or bullshit or bullshit? Ah, bullshit. Uh, bullshit. Okay. And of who's most likely to, who's most likely to lay in their bed and not wanna move all day? Well, I want to, well, you don't, I, I want to, and I, I succeed at my goals, so rude. Okay. Anyway, whatever. I just would like to say at this moment that um, we can recap a few things. I thought that our question and answer was pretty good. A couple little good questions on there. Got some, some truth outta you mm-hmm. Of who you'd wife swap with. Mm-hmm. Which I'm surprised she actually agreed to do it. Well, I want their life. They can't have mine. Just so everybody's aware. That's the truth. Mm-hmm. Um, we're good news. Getting ready to, um, in December. Go on a cruise. Yay. I've never been on a cruise. I know. I'm so excited. I am too. We've got a balcony. Yay. Can't wait. Yeah, it's gonna be fun. We're going with the, uh, girls from the office. No men. Yeah. No. Well. Our boss, technically Mike is. Yeah, but I'm saying me and you. Right. That's what's important here. Well, let's fair around. Yeah. Um, no men, just all the girls at the office. Fun. That's gonna be fun, fun, fun. Yep. They're gonna be drinking a lot, not us. We only drink on an occasion and misses the occasion. Yep. Occasionally, once a week. Occasionally. Yeah, occasionally. Oh for sure. But yeah, it's gonna be a good time. We might do, um, definitely some tiktoks on there. Uhhuh have some people on there. Uhhuh. We'll, well, we'll show you guys pictures of the people we talk shit about at work. Right, right. And then you'll understand. And there will be one missing. One's missing that sadly. Yeah. She'll be missing. She's not going. Sorry about her luck. We're going down. I ain't losing sleep over. I ain't losing sleep about nothing. That's right. I'm gonna have fun. I'm gonna finally see that clear water I've been wanting to see. Yes. Finally going on cruise. I'm gonna pray for Cindy that she doesn't have any kind of motion sickness. I'm not going to. I don't think you will either, but I'm a cruising champ. I'm ready to do this. She's a professional. This, we're gonna have some slick, slick tricks. Tricky tricks up our sleeve. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm gonna plan a couple of things. You're gonna be so excited. I'm gonna make your first Cruise experience the best. Amazing. Yes. I'm, I'm already, I'm ready. I can, I want it to be like 12. You're gonna be ready to book. I know. Your next cruise. The moment we get on, you're gonna be like, bye. Book it. Okay. Mark better come or he? I don't care. I don't care if he comes or he don't. Sorry. Sorry. Yeah. Yeah. It's gonna be fun. Yeah. I can't wait. So that's coming up. What else we got going on? Anything else? You're going to? We're going on tour. On tour. Um, I'll be, we're going on tour. I'll be in Orlando. In Orlando. Orlando. I'll be in Las Vegas. Las Vegas. Let me put this side there. She's going, she's going to Las Vegas without me. Our tour dates are just kidding. Um, but yeah, so I'll be in Vegas. That'll be fun. I probably talk about that all the time. Um, and then right after. You know, his guy told me, mm, maybe we'll go to Vegas when Paul gets home again. That's what I said. I thought y'all were gonna Hawaii. I love No, that's out. That we gotta wait for that one. That's a big, big trip. Gotcha. Oh, and you know, we'll, we'll see, we'll see. But we do have a few things going on. Hopefully we're gonna go to the um, Florida, Georgia game, which will be fun. Mm-hmm. And uh, yeah, you know, it's. Coming up on fall. It's one of our favorite times. Yay. Um, Halloween's coming. I think I talked about that on the last episode. Halloween party. Yep. We're gonna have some, I get a dress with something that starts with a CI think we already talked about that. Being a cu girl, country girl, girl. Anyway, I'm gonna be an alien. Yeah, she's asshole. That would be amazing, wouldn't it? You. Gotta figure that out. You y'all going to see? I might, I might sneak peek the costume. Sneak sneak. Maybe we should do that. What? We'll do a sneak peek of our costumes. Um, the week, the week of like dress up? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll dress up early on'em and show'em off before. Well, well we can, um, do a, our podcast in our, the week before. Yeah. In her costumes. We'll see. We'll see. We'll think about it. But anyway. Yeah. Um, I appreciate everybody tuning in. We're gonna go ahead and wrap it up. That was a fun, we just wanted to do something a little lighthearted. Mm-hmm. Um, especially after the events of obviously last week. And, um, I do wanna say, um, you know, we did lose an another person, um, Robert Redford passed away. Yep. That was, that was sad. Um, so, you know, our hearts and thoughts and prayers go out to, um, his family. His family, his family. Yeah. And, and children and everything. Yeah. And I, I wanna, um, uh, I I, it is been real hard on me about the Charlie Kirk thing. Yeah. So, um, to his wife and his kids, our hearts are with you. I pray for you all the time. Tragedy what this world is coming to. Yeah. Tragedy, no matter who, what, Democrat, Republican. Mm-hmm. White, black, gray, gay, not gay. It. It's just, come on, it's enough. You can't, you can't get rid of people. Like, come on people. I don't care who, if it was somebody I didn't like, I would never celebrate somebody's death. That's just ridiculous. Grow the fuck up on that note. Follow us and like us on YouTube. Yes, you can listen to our podcast, obviously on Apple Podcasts. You can listen our radio, Spotify, follow us on YouTube, on TikTok, and on uh, Instagram and Facebook. Yep. Um, hope you tune in next week, and if you don't, you're missing out. You are. Bye bye.