Fart Dust and Language Lessons: A Hilarious Journey

Decoding Modern Slang and Survival Stories - Gen X Edition

In this hilarious episode of 'Fart Dust and Language Lessons', we dive into the world of modern slang and compare it with Gen X lingo. Join us as we decode terms like 'Riz', 'It's Giving', 'Quiet Quitting', and more - all while sharing humorous life stories and personal anecdotes. From unexpected chickens to survivalist tales, and the generational divide, we cover it all. Grab your reading glasses, fill up your glasses with your favorite cocktail, and let's get this humorous mess started!

00:00 Introduction and Opening Remarks

00:26 Generational Humor and Aging

01:32 Decoding Modern Slang

02:08 Cocktails and Conversations

03:24 Funny Anecdotes and Personal Stories

04:38 More Slang and Generational Differences

14:13 Made-Up Words and Mispronunciations

17:42 Weekend Adventures and Food Talk

27:22 Random Musings and Final Thoughts

29:08 Sneaking into the Liquor Store

29:20 Mark's Survival Skills

32:45 Halloween Plans and Costumes

34:43 Gen X Memories and Latchkey Kids

35:38 Weekend Fun and Shopping

45:29 Chicken Stories and New Pets

55:14 Random Thoughts and Farewell

Transcript

0:02

Hi guys. We're back. If you got 10 baby daddies. Whoops. Sorry, he ain't my daddy. I feel like I'm getting set up again. That's rude. You need therapy? No. Who's this bitch? If you like it, you like it, you love it. You love it, you don't. Bye.

Vernon: 0:26

Hey there, fellow survivors of the aging apocalypse! Welcome to"Fart Dust and Language Lessons" where getting older comes with its own special brand of humor. I'm your host, and today we're diving into the great generational divide that moment when someone half your age says something that sounds like complete gibberish. We'll be decoding modern slang and sharing our"experienced" perspective on life, all while probably getting completely sidetracked. So grab your reading glasses, and let's get this hilarious mess started!

1:08

All right. Welcome back to, if you want me to be honest, where we're so old our farts are coming out like dust. Oh my gosh. Yes. That's how old we are. We're so old that our farts don't stink according to Cindy, but our shit does. So let's talk about our age. Okay. This is gonna be an interesting one because I want to talk about like. The new language slang, whatever slanguage. Yeah, I just created that. You're welcome. Slanguage, welcome slanguage. Um, dude, nobody understands some words. I can figure out some I can't. No. So I'm gonna give you later. There we go. Yes. I'm gonna give you a list and I gonna find out what it means or think of what, correct. Okay. You're gonna tell me. What they mean by that slang. Okay. I got this shit. Okay. But anyway, before we do that, if you're wondering why there's this giant batch. This is called the fuck it Bucket Compliments, uh, are not compliments. Oh, Scotty M Yeah. I mean, but yeah, there's another word for that. And I done fucked it up and I'm not even drunk. Compliments. Yeah, no, you didn't. Compliments whatever. We'll go with it. No, it's whatever. So, okay. Before we do anything. First cocktails. Let's, we got our glasses full. Mm-hmm. Because you're supposed to use the label. And by the way, we told him small drinks this time. Mm-hmm. He made the biggest bucket he could find. Y'all thought last week was a shit show. Okay. What kind of alcohol's in that? I'm, I'm not sure really. Okay. What it reminds me of, we just trust. Scott. Yeah. I mean, I've said before, if it's antifreeze, y'all know what happened to me. Again, it's the color of antifreeze. Fishy. He set me up for fail. Yeah. Halloween. Just because he wants to kill you all don't mean he needs to kill all. I mean, he knows it's a package deal. You gotta take us both at the same time. Okay? Pretty much. So what I found, I looked around to see, because I've been hearing a lot of things now. I told you about this time that Kim and I went to. Chop revers. Yes. In Georgia. Yep. And Kim and I were looking cute and our cutoff jeans and our country girl outfits, redneck got it weekend and we walked into the restaurant and the little girl at the front counter said, Ooh, y'all are eating. Yeah. I was like, eating, what the hell? The fuck the hell we eating and you're eating. I found out, I was like, okay. She said them outfits are eaten. And I was like, I've heard a fire. I'm assuming that's a compliment because wanna eat you because she was happy. This is what I'm saying. And so I had to Google that shit And they told you Yeah. Meant that shit's on fire like these kids are Yeah. I, I don't, I, I, I, that's what she said to me. Alright. It means you're looking good. Okay. Looking good. Look great. So, excuse me.'cause I'm so old. I gotta put readers on you. Keep your readers on at all times. Forget about it if I don't. Mm-hmm. So let's do a little question and answer. Okay. Okay. I got an answer for you. You ever heard of Riz? Use it in a sentence. Oh, okay. Uh, Riz? Mm-hmm. No, I, I'm not. What does it mean when somebody says, oh, you Riz, or, she got a lot of Riz. Fire charisma. Oh, like Izzy charm. Oh, is what that means. All right. Like me. Oh, okay. I'm charming. That's, that's what we call it. Okay. This is what you are De Lulu delusional. You got right. Okay. How about it's given that outfit, it's given. It's giving off good vibes or, yes, it describes the vibe or the essence of something. All right. Okay. You're doing pretty good. You're doing pretty good. I'm doing better than I already thought. I, I didn't think you'd do this. Good. I ain't going to lie. I ain't going to lie. Be so for real. Yeah, like yeah. Right. Which is pretty much like, yeah, right. Be for real. Are you serious? Yeah. Are you for real? Yeah. Okay. That's how we would've said it back in our day. Yeah. Are you serious? Um, let's say, oh yeah. When somebody says that shit slaps that shit slaps, I feel like everything's like fire. Pretty good. Something really good. Yeah. Usually music though, like that music slaps. Probably because a beat slapping, I think I'm like slapping on, okay, I'd do a beat right here up to this bitch, I'll slap on my chest. Mm-hmm. Um, how about quit quitting? Quit quitting. Quiet, quitting. Hold on. How do you spell some shit? I can't even pronounce this word. Quiet. Quitting. Yes, I'm quitting without telling nobody. Do we have a few people at work that do this? Yeah, I mean, shit. Doing the bare minimum at work. Oh shit. Quiet. Quitting. Is it quiet? Quintin. That sense? It makes sense because they done quit a long time ago. They, you done left the building shit. Elvis has left the building. Oh yeah, definitely. We got a few of them bitches. Oh yeah. Drink the bat. Lucky I don't name names up in this. She ain't talking about me by the way. If you want me to be honest. Alright. Soft launch, which everybody should know what that means. Yeah. And pretty much like you're slowly introducing it. Right? Slowly showing a new relationship on social media is what that means. Oh, okay. Okay. The kids, you gotta think. The kids nowadays, like if I'm like Brina mm-hmm. Did a soft launch. I mean, she launched something small, but means she told everybody on Facebook that she is in a new relationship. Okay. Which is weird. All right, so let's, let's think of some things. There's a couple others. One that I found out was cap. You know what cap means? Put a lid on it. Put a cap on it. Put a cap on your ass. See, we would say put a cap in your ass. Yeah, I was gonna say, doesn't mean the same as what's that mean to us? Put a cap. Cap in your eye. Lock up load. Put a cap in your ass, right? Yes. So cap means just to them. Lid on it. Cap. No. Cap means you're lying. You're capping, right? Man, you capping. Oh, no. Cap means for real. Oh my gosh. The real shit. How about you say it the regular way? You can't. You can't. You can't. Um, so what would, what do you think Riz would be compared to for like our generation? Like if I, if I, if we were the youth nowadays, somebody said Riz to me in our day though, I think of, um, the movie Grease Riz. I love it. That's what I think of. Okay. Pink Ladies. Weren't that what they were called? Yeah. The Le leather Tuscadero. Yeah, that's what I think about. Okay. Well they, they say we should compare it to like game. Somebody's got game like you're a player. Like, which I don't even know. Did like Gen X. I don't remember saying he's a player. I said that shit, maybe when my kid, I first had my kids and shit, like when I was in my twenties and thirties. Man, don't be a player. Hate the player, not the game. Yeah. That's old. You know what I mean? Yeah. Anyway. Uh, Beth, I know what that means. I think be like, yeah, right. I wish you would. I bet, bet. Let's see it. That means cool. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Bet. Fuck. How about drip? Drip? Yeah. You ain't never heard that inside. You got nice drip on. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. That your clothes are nice style. Exactly. I'm killing this game. Really? You're pretty good at this. I thought for sure I was gonna go down. I bet you'd fail. Okay. But thank God you got some young ass kids. What about suss? Suspect? You're suspect sketchy. Okay. Exactly. All right. Oh, that's pretty good, right? I'm right. I'm right. Mm-hmm. So which slang do you think you would actually use? Maybe like, you know, you're trying to be cool. You're hanging out with Brina and her friend. They're all in their early twenties. So she, she should be using this is more really like Winston's age. Yeah, I was gonna say, but no, which ones would I use? What would you use out of all that you think, or have you used, have you ever used any? Hold on. Um, she uses all sorts of other words. I'm make, get my own words. Okay. That's true. Um, which was, what was the other one that you made up? Let's talk about that in a minute. Um, I don't know if I'd use any of those. None of'em. Um, player or maybe I had somebody say, um, I was riz or doing something Riz on one of Zach's, like tiktoks. You did? Yeah. And I was like. Huh? I had to, I had to message in there to Zach separate, what's that mean? I'm like, what the fuck's Riz? What they trying to say? I would've thought of Riz. I thought, like, see, to me Riz was more like messing with somebody trying to riz you up. Oh. You know what I mean? Like, that's how they say it. Um, yeah. No, that's not, I, I would, I wouldn't know what it meant. Yeah. I think, what are the words again? Tell me the words. I'll tell you which one, but. See that one I use, I would use. I have used that, right? Yeah. But, but to me bet's like, oh, fucking wish. You would bet. Yeah. It's like bet like Right. I bet you Or something. Okay. I've used that a couple times. A suss I have said many times too. I don't know if I've said that one. No. I'm like, mm hmm. He bet. Sus I don't trust his ass. No, no. Never. I say that a lot about some people at the office again. Sus number one. Sus number two. Okay. So if you had one to pick from all those that you hate. Oh, hate. Or you're like, okay, that's just the stupidest. Okay. Gimme the names of them again. Okay, we're gonna do it again. We're gonna go Riz. That's dumb. Okay. D Lulu. No, that's all right. It's giving, that's Thanksgiving, bitch. That's what that is. That's what, well, I can't wait till Thanksgiving too. What are my downfalls about Thanksgiving though is I eat so much Turkey. You do that, it makes me fall asleep. I'm not a big fan of Turkey. I like the ham and I get gassy as hell, bro. Well, that's where the problem lies. Mm-hmm. But anyway, we're not talking about that. Okay, so RB, so for real, I mean, that ones all right, slaps. That's dumb. Okay, so that's one of them That makes your eye twitch. Mm-hmm. Rib and snap makes you wanna slap somebody? Yeah, it makes me slap the person that made that up. I think you should start using this one. Huh? Quit quitting. Quiet, quitting. Quit quitting. Y'all be quiet. Quitting up in this place. Quiet. I. That was my favorite. We don't use that shit. I need to write that down so I can remember it tomorrow and put it sticky on my desk. I'm gonna text it to you. Okay. So that when everybody's fucking around and you can be like, I see nothing but a bunch of quiet, ill say to and see if they know what that means. Did you, are you quiet? Quitting? I quitting. Got it. I like it. I like it. They're young, so they probably do know it. Yeah. Well that's on them then, you know. The answer is yes. They'll laugh and then I go, okay, soft launch. I mean, that sounds like something you do for business.'cause so far it's slaps that you don't like. Yeah, I do like drip, drip, drip, drip, drip. I got in this old age, I got some things that drip. Yeah, it drips. All right. It ain't good with that old age. My an, I must say my anal drip. That's not what I was gonna say. I was gonna say nasal nay zo is what I meant to say. I can't take her. No. Okay. I don't know what that was about. I'm not even drunk. That bucket might say different. All right. Um, yeah, I don't know. Those are things that I think are, um, quit quiet. Quit and quit. Quit. Quit. Qu what are your, what type of words do you like to use in those references? Let's talk about some of your made up loser. Okay. My made up. Words. Words. I just start talking and it comes out, so I, I don't really have a list of You're like clickety ty. Yeah. Trippi Tropi. Yeah. I call patients names that I, what was the word you tried to say the other day? And it, you said it so many times. I actually had to yell at you to shut the fuck up because the word was right here. Right here. But you kept saying it wrong. Irrevocable was that it irrevocable, irresistible. Who knows? Do I reconcilable what? It was something like that. Reconci, right? Reconcile, wasn't it? Something like that. Yeah. And you kept saying, we should just start recording Redated Red. You done ated? I'm like, that's reiterated. Oh yeah. Something redacted. No. Anyway, fucked up. Okay. Yeah. Those are the things. I say a lot of words, I make up my own, but you know what? They all make fun of me, but they know what I'm saying. Are we both? Am I just the crazy one? No, I think we've learned. Yeah, but y'all know what I'm, I mean, and you still make fun of me, if you know what I mean. Just keep going with the conversation. And not only that, if you know what I mean, then y'all crazy too. Well, no, I think it is it, we've had to come up with some translation. I got translation for you. Well. It's, it's a little bit whatever. Chicky, Chay, Ty Bty, BTY. It's like your fucking Disney Jungle book, not the Jungle Book. No shit. But that's what it's like. Sometimes it's, or it's Dr. Seuss. It's not my favorite, but No, but it's one fish, two fish, blue fish, red fish. I'll mess up if I say it like that. I know, I know. Well, just saying anywho. Um, can you tell I dyed my hair, guys, just so you know. It's a little on the red side. Yeah, that reddish hue. You see the, is it from the microphone? I said blonde. You see the grays ain't so grayish. Yeah. You like to call'em blondes? I like, I didn't mind the grays, but. It's, it's a mahogany, but it's, it's a I'm surprised you went that color. I did it before, like 20 years ago, and it was all right. But I think I, I, I like the grays. Yeah. You're a gray kind of person. They don't bother. They don't bother me at all. I think we put more in there. More grays. Yeah. That's called highlights. Gray highlights. Yes. I like to call'em icy blonde. Icy ice, ice baby. That's what they do. Icy bonds. Yeah, that's what I like. Well, I mean, it's all right. I mean, you tell me what you think. I think it's all right. Okay. Okay. So, um, Paul's coming home this week. Well, today I wanted to do a shout. Yay. Happy birthday, Paul. Happy birthday. Food Co. Here's gotta have a drink for, oh, look at that. We got a drink for you, buddy. Yep. Happy birthday. Cheers. Mm-hmm. You'll be home in a couple days. We'll celebrate, celebrate, celebrate. We do love to do that. We are. We have issues. We got issues. We, well, you know what we are. I got issues. We got Riz. That's annoying. Bitch. We got charisma. Just saying we got some. Izzy. Izzy. Izzy. R. Mm-hmm. Uhhuh. So what else you got? Tell me some. I went to a festival, crazy shit on Saturday and I tried to beg her to go, but she's a wuss. Who me? Yeah. To the festival. Oh, what the corn maze. Let's talk about.'cause my husband, we already discussed that last week, but it doesn't matter. She's annoying. Why I don't go, we, we walk through and we would love to scare people, but we had little ones with us so we couldn't, so that was real aggravating. Okay, but you, you what Didn't mind running. My zachy. Don't tell it again. My back was fine through a haunted house at, I protected him. Me and Kim Chuck did. Ass wood. Yeah. Let's, let's tell the truth about that. Anyway, um, went to a fall festival. We had fun. Yeah. Went to a burger joint and ate dinner there. It was a burger joint. Guess how much it cost me, mark, and Brina to eat at this burger joint?$89 total 1 0 6. Brina did have two glasses of wine that were$13 and Mark had a beer. Okay, you could add a bottle of wine. Hundred and$6. I got a burger. Sabrina got a burger and Mark got a Philly cheese steak sandwich and fries should cook at home. 1 0 6. There you go. Won't be going back there again.'cause I mean, for a burger. I mean I'm No, that was in St. Augustine. Yeah. Oh, we did get a appetizer. Onion rings. Oh no, we did. Now the truth comes out. I can go to stone and eat. Way better. Go McDonald's and eat. Ew, I mean McDonald's. Yay. We love McDonald's. I, uh, you know what Winston calls McDonald's food. Like McDonald's. McDonald's. Can we go to McDonald's? Yes. And get french fries with ranch. He just likes french fries. Ranch. Anyway, I think he just likes ranch. Yeah. So, yeah, we, we did that. That's what Well, it sounds like you had a boring ass on Wow. She's rude. I had fun watching the kids play. Well, if you want me to be honest, when we went to go get Funnel Cake, they was out of funnel cake. So you had a bad, you really didn't have a good weekend. No, but I, but they did have, let me just tell you. So they sold these little fried donuts. Good. I'm still listening. I'm just gonna go over and drink. Not that big. And they taste like a funnel cake'cause they're very small and skinny, but then inside's more dhy. They're called donuts, but they're really small round. And, um, I went to go get one because they didn't have a funnel cake. Mm-hmm. So there's, they're$10 for 10 of them. Mm-hmm. They're small. Or you can get a bucket for$25 and you get about 20 to 30 of them. So I was like, contemplating, should I get Brenda's? Like, just get 10. I'm like, so y'all ain't have none because you know, they're like, and they're, what y'all eating? They're little. And I said, she said, well, I'll have two and you have two. Who the fuck is she to put limits on us? Yeah. So as we're talking, the guy that, I think he's the owner,'cause he's walking around actually. He's the one that gave me the sample on the stick. Oh, okay. To try. And that's how I knew I liked it. So he went back and got another bucket and was walking out and as I'm ta talking to her about it at the register and I'm like, I think I'm gonna get 25. And he walks up and he has like a long, um, almost like a. Here I go. Screw, screw. Yep. Screw, screw. Get it, get it. Keep going. Screw. What is it called? A screw. A screw. A screw. A screw. A screw. That would be the one that fucks your husband. Hey, hey, hey. A screw. Okay. Screw. No. What you say? I'm not a screw. That's when animal scurry. Alright, let's try it again. Uh, a screw. This is what I gotta deal with. Hold on. Screw, no. Yeah, whatever. That's what you say to Mark. You're like, you're a screw. I just went. Yeah. It's a skewer skew. He had a skewer. That's a stupid word. That's why I don't like it. Okay. Stupid skewer. It's a screw. So he walked and it was pointy and he kind of stabbed me a little bit. Not hard. Barely scratched me, me, right? Okay. And see, this is why I don't go to them haunted houses. And I said, oh my God, I just stabbed you. I'm so sorry. Have the whole bucket. He gave me a, I said, no, it's fine. You didn't stab me that hard. Fine. I'm, I'm, he's like, no, just take the bucket. I'm so sorry he didn't give you a bucket because now he done infected the fucking screw her and screwed everybody from getting any fucking thing. I got a$25 bucket for free. For free, and then he came, oh, well that later said, I'm sorry again. I said, that's fine because um, you only gased me open. And Fred's like, like it mom. Oh my God. And he, it didn't even scratch me, but this is dangerous. No, I don't accept this. This is unacceptable behavior. And then I'm gonna have to drink it with a straw. That's what I would do. That's what you don't want. I don't do. Mm-hmm. Anyway, so I got a free bucket of donuts. All right. A bucket.'cause she got stabbed. It's way smaller than this bucket screw. I got stabbed with a screw. That means you got fucked. Where? My life. Hey, that's not nice. You gotta, dang right. Why isn't it nice anyway? I mean, sometimes it's nice. So I think it, I got free donuts. Mm-hmm. Brina paid for our way in. Do you know what the six seven is? 60 bucks? Is that these kids are saying nowadays, I don't know what that means. I see it on social media and I'm just like, I ignore it.'cause I'm like, that's dumb and I don't even know what it's, I know I don't understand it either. You don't know it? No I don't. You know. No, I'm shocked You don't know about it. I don't either. My speaker's not working. 60 sevens. I don't know, supposedly. Was it you that told me that story about when somebody gets a, or was it Gabby gets a grade of a 67? All the kids go six, seven. Six seven. Not me. I never heard of that. I thought it was Gabby who said it to me. What? You didn't ask her what it meant? I did. She don't even know my, my grandson says that. Where did he get it from? Let me just tell you something I'm trying to figure out. How a 3-year-old, a 3-year-old knows what six, seven means. Does he know that? Or, but, but his granny don't. Does he just hear it and say it? He just randomly says six seven. If you say six, seven or 67, he goes, 6 7, 6 7. What the heck is that? I didn't see a couple things on social media. I'm like, I don't even know what that is. Hey. Hello. That's a little horn. That's my clown horn. Sounds like you bring his car horn. The other day we drove a car. She say, shut, you do not want to hear this horn. That's what you get for buying a Prius. And I said, you don't. You don't like it. She said, mom, it's not scary out. You go e. I'm like, this is embarrassing. Don't blow that horn again. Nobody's scared. I love that. That's awesome. She's like, it's perfect for her. She said, can we change the horn? Can. Can you change the horn on the car farm? You can get the one that goes. Oh, or just, or just a normal horn. Eat, eat like a little bug car. Oh, let's look, let, so let's see what horns you. Like. Let's do the sounds of the, a normal horn is fine. The horns in the air go, no, that's, that's not the word on the car. Well, you know what that reminds me of? Why aren't we care? What was that? Was it, let's make a deal that you, they used to do that on or? Know what you mean The price is right. Yeah. Something. No, I don't feel like it's price, right? The price is wrong, bitch. I don't remember what I do know what you're talking about. How about this one That's not in my fart. It sounds very, very close to um, oh yeah. I gotta tell you something. Speaking of far. I gotta tell you guys something. So, and it was a little one too, just by the way, I farted last night. Okay, hold on. See? You's gotta get laugh out. I'm like a child. You're, when, why wait until I fart on that cruise? Dude, can't, I can't, I hope. Anyway, I farted and it wasn't even a bad one. I my, what kind was it? Was it a squeaky door? Like No, it's always the same that I showed you last time. Oh, it's a, what is the fuck you mean? It's not a bad one, but it wasn't as loud. It was just. Small one though. No, I don't believe that. And Bar said, wait till April is stuck on that cruise ship with you. And she hears that. And not only her, I feel bad for every passenger they're going to think you hit. Iceberg. It's a fucking Titanic. I said, that's of a fart. That's not true. It was a little one. He said, no, when you fart, it's gonna be like, dude, they're all gonna think you hit an iceberg. And I said, Emily and Mike are on the other side of the wall. He said, yeah. Oh, they're fucked. Anyway, I just had to throw that out there and iceberg. That's rude. I mean, it, it's a little, it's a little. Much little extra, but I can understand it. A little ra. What's RAs mean again? Riz. Oh, it ain't gone over Riz. That ass ain't Riz. Okay. I messed that up. That's drip. That's disgusting, dude. Oh, I'm just saying that's disgusting. Well, this is how it happens when you're old. Yeah. You tell me you think it's not true. No, it's not true. Not that your ass is dripping. Yeah, I don't mean that I, that's what I, I don't mean that I, okay. I, I don't have problem. What I meant was, as you age your ass things. Well, some shit changes. Yeah. Droop. A droop as dr. Not drip. Drip. What'd you say? Hey, there are song, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip. I'm scared of that. Okay? Okay. I don't know nothing about no drip, drip, drip, drip, drop to the top. Lollipop Anyway. That some good shit. Um, tell me some crazy words you used to use when you were a a kid. I do. Crazy words i's like, talk about Gen X of the fact that one, would you nowadays drink from the hose? I wouldn't nowadays, but if I had to, I would, you know? Right. Well, I mean, of course if you're homeless or you're locked out, don't get me wrong, but back in the day, I wouldn't for, for, wouldn't even question it. Right. No, I've done it so many times. Did you ever tell your kids to go drink from the hose? I mean, you sprayed my fucking daughter and chased her around the yard? I think I did once and Mark yelled. Really does Cindy, that he's a pussy and he's a survivalist? Mm-hmm. I thought about this the other day. I'm gonna be honest. Let me be honest. People here. Okay, let's hear it. I believe I was talking to my sister, so I'm just gonna throw her out under the bus too. Sorry, Kim, whatever. Um, pretty sure I was talking to Kim if the world ended. Okay. It's the apocalypse, zombie, apocalypse zombies. No, I'm just saying. Okay. We have a timer. Five minutes. Five minutes to get to the house, right? My house and indoors. You're the only one making it. No, no. Me. Yeah, for sure. But indoors, yeah. I thought about this the other day when you told the story about Mark poisoning himself. Oh yeah. Okay. Yeah. Alcohol poisoning we're fucked. Come'cause he's got alcohol poison himself. He this motherfucker on pop on apocalypse, what is it called? Yeah. Apocalypse ayp. Apocalyp APAC a lot. Puss. Apac. Apac A lot. Puss. No, he wouldn't do it in them then He's in survival mode. This motherfucker is gonna be like, we can sneak in that liquor store. Yes, I can get me some vodka. Yes, April right behind me. But you know what? And him and I are gonna be like this. You know what he does do though? But once he drinks, we'll pop. He'll see something when we're driving at, in the neighborhood or on the streets or in the middle of town. Mm-hmm. He'd be like, yep, that's a good spot to go when the world ends. I need to get this, or I need to get this Uhhuh. Go ahead and leave that o. That's what I need to do. That's what I need to do. He does do that. Let me just tell you something, weirdo. I mean, good for him, but I think we're fucked. That's all I'm saying. Him and Brina. Brianna's gonna be like, dad, do a shot. The world's ending. We gotta do a shot. Do a shot, and Mark's gonna be like, fuck it. Yeah, do a shot. I'm doing it with my daughter and I'm gonna have to look at you and go, you're saving us. Where's all the gun? You're saving us? Yeah. The other day I needed string, um, oh, to hang the um, the, what's that thing you gave me? I love when she forgets shit. Reef. The reef. Well I was trying to hang the reath. Did you just say reef? Reefer? The reef, right? Reef re No, the, the is too much for me. The reef. Yeah, a reef. I was, so, I needed a little bit of, uh, yarn or something to hang it, so I'm looking all over the house and I know I seen yarn before, but whatever. I can't find it now, so I'm tell Mark I can't find anywhere. He said I, I got some, I know where something's at. He goes into his motherfucker's gotta go combat bad backpack. He starts pulling out stuff. He's got a trash bag in. Dude. Smart. I mean, look, he's a survivalist. He pulled out a big rope. I just don't think he's gonna be alert to survive us. So he gave you a piece of his string. I appreciate it. He threw it back, the rest, back in his backpack and went on. And I, I realized this, I started thinking about it when I told Kim that, yeah, we're fucked because of the fact that Mark's gonna take one shot and we're done. Yep. Um. Yep. And this is what I'm thinking. So the world heals itself. Let's just say the world heals itself. Okay. The the world cleanses and it regenerates. Okay? And we're left doing our podcast just like this. Okay? Okay. Because you know, we are surviving the apocalypse people. I'm a survivor. Even if I have to protect her,'cause I need her for this show. The first time we have somebody that calls in. Probably by CB Radio. Okay. Okay. Breaker break one, nine. Break breaker one, nine. And we gonna call in and I have a question. Okay. Whatever happened to Mark R? He gone. He poisoned himself. He gone alcohol poisoning. Took him out. Is strong and survivalist as he is. Hey, we, when they go, you get their supplies. Well, I, this is what I'm thinking. We gotta start, we gotta have to look for the week. I know where the supplies are. I'm fine. Right. This is why I have to keep you alive. Treasure Mat. It's either me or Mark. You gotta keep alive. I mean, mark is gonna claim, oh, I can do it. Okay. Well just make sure all the liquor's put up. That's all I'm gonna say. Make sure that all as I drink. Yeah. I don't know if Mark's gonna need the Laker. I'm pretty sure it's her. Well, the difference is is that the next day I'll be fine. Yeah. We're screwed if we gotta fight the next day. This is what I'm saying. This is what I'm saying. He's done more. You're gonna get a Yep. And you're gonna wish mm-hmm. That we didn't find that last dash of vodka. Yeah. And I only bring this up because it's Halloween, so you gotta do a little bit of morbid. Yeah. Holiday is coming. Yes. It's a good holiday. It's a fun holiday. She makes me dress up. Even if you're religious, it's okay. This is to ward off evil spirits, to blend in with evil spirits. It's just an excuse for me to party and get drunk. Yes. And she makes us dress up every year. Yeah. So it's gonna be amazing. And the party is this weekend, but next week. Episode, we're gonna do our costume reveal. Mm-hmm. Right? Yeah. We're gonna do a Halloween episode. Yeah. So you guys can see us. It'll our costume. It'll be scary. Is it? Well, I'm scary. I'm just saying not for us, but for other people. Did he really think we were gonna drink this whole, but no. Look at how big this bucket is. Fuck it. Who does that bucket? The bitches brew. That's a lot. I like it. I like it. I like it a lot. I don't even taste alcohol in here. I think he neither screwed us. Me neither. Oh no. It's coming. It's sitting here or there it hits. But yeah. Anyway. Well, we got enough for the party. You can put a lid on it. Keep it, tap that bitch. Riz, Riz. I'm gonna use all these fucking words, but I don't know if I'm, yes. That's why I'm, I don't think that, I think that's how we should do it. Like let's take it back. Let's take this shit back from these lower motherfuckers. We some shit. Yeah, let's do that. Riz. We're gonna call it Zu Reserve. Riz from Greece. Yeah. Oh yeah. I love, I love that movie too, too. Anyway. Yeah, I think it's Rizzo though. But they say Riz, they call her Riz.'cause she had a lot of charisma. They call her Riz. She's charming. I'm gonna drink some more. Yeah. Drink up. Yep. Yep. So what's another thing that you think is so different than Gen X? Like I remember being a latchkey kid. The hell's that latchkey? What's that? Oh my God. This is what happens. Well, what is, it happens when you grow the fuck up in Redneckville, Florida. What is it? What's that? Okay, so us inner kids. Okay. That's okay. Mm-hmm. Meant that you live, you had a key to get in your house, but the door was unlocked. Oh, so you didn't need it. Oh, you always left your doors unlocked. Yes. Because you could back then. Well, I mean, you really shouldn't have, I mean, Bundy was around back then. There was a lot of serial killers back country. Yeah. That's truthfully, that's true. It's true. D you shouldn't have. Yeah, but you do. So I don't do that no more. Fuck. Nope. Nope. And speaking of which, I'll tell you with Halloween coming, that's a scary thought. But I'm, you know, another thing Kim and I were talking about, we had a great, I had a great weekend. I'm just gonna be honest with you. Yeah. Y y'all went shopping after we went shopping, didn't you? No. We actually hung out at her house and I stayed there till 10 o'clock at night. Oh my gosh. Just shooting the shit, talking. Well, we hadn't done that in a while. Well, we're gonna get in trouble by Paul anyway. He said, do not let her buy pillows and blankets. And she didn't. Oh. And we obeyed, right? We agree. Yes. With Paul, we said, no, Kim, don't do it. We're not gonna allow this. And unfortunately. Kim's a lot stronger than you think. Yeah. Okay. And she cursed us out and pretty much she said, fuck Paul. Just, Hey, I tried. That's all I can do. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you know, it's all I can do. Sometimes all you can do is look at it. Yeah. I mean, what am I gonna do? Wrestle her down. Yeah. Wrestle. Wrestle. Wrestle. I'm gonna wrestle her. But yeah, I was, I was talking to Kim. Did you see that video of the people trying to break in with the fucking costumes on him and shit? No, dude. Do you want me to show it to you? But why? Okay. But I'm sure they do that anyway. Jahi and they like, and they broke the fence. Well, okay. Somebody's house. Yeah. They were claiming they were gonna kill him. Did they shoot him? Did they, they couldn't get in the door. No, I'm what I'm talking about the homeowners. Did they? No, they hid and fucking called 9 1 1. They were scared for their life. They didn't have nothing to say. I'm sure it was probably in a place that wasn't. Oh, that would be scary. Probably not. Gun carrying like us would be done for if something happened to us. Right. Something like that. Done. She'd be done. I so it's bothered me for a while. Honestly. Why? If you want me to be honest. Why? Because I would shoot a motherfucker like I wish you would try. Motherfucker. You're dead. I don't get that. Like I don't, I don't get it either. But some people, first of all, I wouldn't have to worry about it because I probably fart or shit. My pants and the odor alone would keep them from coming in like a scum. But come on through the door because if you can make it through that, you're good. I got something for you. No, but your dogs forget about it. Oh yeah, dude. Speaking of which, oh God. So Eric tries on his. Oh, great. Just the hair for his costume? Mm-hmm. Okay. Tippy almost ate his nuts like no children ever again. In what? What happened? What all weed. Gonna, well, that's not bad. Oh, well, yeah. Mean everybody's on their own. That's not a bad thing. No more kids. No, I mean, yeah, he is got two. He don't need no more. He's old. Yeah. By the way, happy. He delayed the birthday, Eric. Oh, yeah. I mean. This is danger because you got ice in it. Yep. You done fucked it up. Oh, you're not supposed to have ice. Yeah. Just dippy. Dippy. Yep. Slurpee. Slurpee. It's still drip, I think. Just get a, oh, danger. Oh God. Danger. Danger. I think we just put the straws in it and say Fuck it. I said that earlier, but you had to be cool. Here we go. Problem solved. Okay. There you go. Well, now I gotta drink my glass. Oh, you gotta drink that down first. We're all gonna be eating. Puts his, okay, perfect. Well, some people will be. So then I said, I dude, I, I couldn't take it. Sorry. Eric just with the wait was laughing. He didn't notice who it was. It didn't matter. Tippy turned around like the fuck Elvis showed up and dude, he charged. Now he did this once to mic. Um, Mike. Mike, mark. When he came. Yeah. You all came in the door one time, remember came he slid mm-hmm. Into Mark's crotch and Mark was like, holy shit, dude. Not the no. Yeah. Well he did that to Eric. Ooh, no, I mean, he fucking char like I thought Eric was, was gonna get so stomp. Well, one, he probably smelled his nuts and was like, oh, okay. I'm used to you that fast. He must have some. Strong ass smelling nuts. It's his, it's his clothes, I guess. I don't know. But also, obviously it just startled the dog probably. And then it, it was Eric. Oh no, he didn't like him. Him having it on that. No, no, no, no, no. He did not like the hair on. No, no. It was a stranger to him. Stranger danger. Stranger danger. So I laughed so hard and then turned around and I said, let me see if, take it off and put it on Scott.'cause you know he, yeah. That's man's best friend. Yeah. Let's see. You know what he did? Huh? He stood next to me and just, I mean, went off on Scott. Really? Finally, Scott had to take it off and was like, dude, it's me. Oh, just from a wig? Yeah, but let Scott punch a window through and fucking try to break my truck while he is in it. He's a pussy. Well, because it, he know it was Scott. He thought Scott was just being mad. He thought he was coming after him. Yeah, he thought Scott was somebody new. Dude. I, it was. That's weird because his tail was wagon know. Well, he was kind of like, ha ha ha. I see you, but I don't like you. So we're all getting eaten on Halloween. I think that it'll be a fun house. Yeah, it's gonna be fun. Y'all like to get scared? Oh, you wanna go in a haunted house? Welcome to the fucking real haunted. Well, the haunted house really don't come and stab you. The dog's really come to bite. First of all, you trust employees. I don't trust random freaks. I When you go to those mazes, did you get your purse checked? No. So if you had a knife, mark had a knife on him. Mark ain't going to no maze without know, but he ain't gonna go stab nobody. Well, you don't know in case somebody comes to stab. What if somebody tries to stab? You see? Good luck, mark. I'm gone. You got this. I'm just saying I don't care. And if you think I'm, say I don kids go catch shit, you're wrong. Oh no. I'd be throwing them kids like that. One teacher said, I don't care about none of kids. I'll throw yours out there. Shoot, I'm going on my own. I don't even care about my own kids. If that makes y'all feel better, they can survive on their own. Yes. Sadly. You know, I got to live, I, I can't help it, but no, you'd be the saver. I'm gone. I don't know that I would be, I think you would. I'm, I mean, I chucked my own kid. I, no, I just, you and ran. That's true. But I'm talking about in real situations. I, you would be the savior, not me. I, I don't know. I don't know, dude. You know, so if someone you're drowning, I can get you. No. Now now's true. If somebody rolls up on me with a gun and is like, I'm gonna shoot you. Or this one. Yeah, that's a different story. I'm probably attacking them. Yeah. But. You know, come out of the woodwork. I'm like, oh, you want her? Go for it. I'll sacrifice one. Yeah. No, no. I don't know what I'd do. I hope I don't ever have to be in that situation. Yeah, me neither. When we were in Orleans, Orleans, freeze. New Orleans. Orleans. Where was I? Vegas. New Orleans. Orleans. Why would I think New Orleans when we were just in Vegas? Uhhuh every set, dude. It's like, have your head on a fucking SW swivel. Swivel sw. Not swivel, swivel, swivel. I knew that one. Right? Thank you. Because all I did was watch. I wouldn't put my back to nobody. I didn't. What's your problem? Like this world is fucking crazy. That's my problem. I don't think about that. I thought, first thing I thought about was the shit going, I thought about the fucking train. Oh, the girl. The girl on the, what was it? A subway or whatever. Yes. I thought about that. Like I don't trust people, dude. You're right to not trust everyone. And I think, I know everybody hated the whole COVID, but I'm good with six feet. Like six feet. I'm good. Yeah. Oh, you mean if I can reach out and touch you like this? We're too close. Okay. And why are they close? They all people in the store because podcast so close to you. Dude. When I move up in the line and somebody's behind me, I know they gotta think I'm, I'm a hundred percent Karen. I do this, I got my cart and I push it up and Scott's beside me and I feel it right behind me. Somebody's cart, right up my asshole. So don't fucking fart. And I'll do this, not me. You know what I do? What? You know, I'm petty as fuck. Back up. Yeah, no. I'll pretend like I'm looking at something. Oh, yeah. And move on. Excuse me. Like, sorry, I, I have a bad habit of saying, excuse me. Do you do that? Like if somebody bumps into you or, yeah, I do it. Yeah, I do it too. And people are so rude, they don't even say nothing like, oh, my bad. I, I do. I say, excuse me. Like when I bump into people,'cause they're so close to me, I'd say, oh, excuse me. Like I just, that's me being, that's my pettiness too. Yeah. My bad. Excuse me, right. Sorry. Mm mm Anyway, we're getting too old. That's my point. I think this age is. Yeah. And the cars seemed closer to me. Oh yeah. You're ing when I, when I look to the left to make sure I can get over, I have to do it 16 times on the left. I don't know. We're just getting You gotta do that. Yeah. Yeah. That's better than doing that. Years of that, your neck works wrong. I didn't have that problem. Mind do that at all. Well, that's probably why you only turn left. Just saying she's rude. Yeah. Well, I'm not rude. The weather's starting to get better. I love that. Oh my gosh. Come on. Cooler weather. Oh God. Yeah. Another 10 degrees cooler. I'm, I'm so thankful that it's a little bit cooler than it's been. Me too. God, I, I can't stand the summer. I don't even know why I stay in Florida. I think I stay in Florida'cause of my kids. Let me ask you something. Here we go. I am just gonna let y'all know a chicken showed up in Cindy's yard. A random chicken. Yeah. Now I personally think that that was God's way. You know? He provides Okay. In that it's meant to be. It's meant to be. It's still there. It is roaming free. When am I gonna get an egg? I get, I just started getting one a day. Just, it's been there for like a. Month, but we just got the coop. We built a little coop for it because at night it stay, it stays in the little one a day. Man. I think that hanging on life all night long might need some assistance. No, it, it says, if you look it up, they do one a day, one every 24 to 46 hours. I mean 24 to 26 hours. So when we built a coop the first night, it didn't do nothing, but then I put up one of our eggs from the house inside of it. Fucking smart dude. And the next day there was a damn egg. Got'em now. Now every day, about 10 o'clock in the morning. Was there an egg or what was your, the one you put there still in there? No, there was two. Yeah. Okay. I was gonna say it was a brown, did that egg turn colors my chicken laid. The white one, the brown one I put out there. Mm-hmm. So every single day since then, it's been about. Th four days. It's late in egg, but I don't know. Will today because last night I'm gonna drink on this note. Yeah, let's all drink on this note. Okay, because last night, seven o'clock on my door, I opened the door and there's Sam, which is my niece's husband. With a box and he said, I got you something, a late birthday present. And I'm like, what? He said, A chicken. And he sits it in my on the floor. Now this isn't your Publix brand chicken? No. In a box? No. Okay. This is whole poked in a bitch. Yes. Lying chicken. I said, you're lying. And he said, there's a chicken in there. I said, A real chicken. You better be chicken shit. Get the fuck out. Yes. I said, no. That ain't true. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Even though I knew the box would look, you knew it looked like so he said, I am serious. And he opens it and there was a chicken, first of all, it was hunched down in the corner. Oh. And it's got a little old head with a beak. Looks different than mine. Totally different than mine. I thought it was like a, a vulture or some shit. And it was looking. I said, oh hell, that's a Turkey. And he said, it's a laying hen. I bought you your tur, uh, your chicken. A friend. I said. I don't even know what I'm doing. The chicken showed up, it stays out in the yard. I don't do nothing with this chicken, but I put it in a coop at night the last few nights. You trained your chicken though? No, it came to my yard. I don't even know whose chicken it's, and it never left. I know, but yeah, I mean, technically it, it learned. I didn't feed it for like three weeks. I didn't do do anything. It just kept staying in the yard. So I said, babe, this chicken is at night. Scared to death on a little limb that's bending way over. Right, right. I felt so bad, was like, something's going to kill it. So we made a little coop. This idiot brings me another chicken. So I had to pull out the dog crate, put some, uh, he said, put it in the pen, put it in the little box. Okay. Not box. It's a chicken coop, but it's, it's enough for three. Chickens could fit, but it'd be tight. Put it in there for the night with the other chicken. I said, no. What if they fight? I'm not doing that. It's dark now. No. So I got the dog crane out, put uh, newspapers down, put some food in there and a little bit of water and left it in at night.'cause I not just gonna let this chicken, first of all, I don't even know that this chicken just can be let loose and it stay in my yard. The other one just came like that, so I, it stays like that. Right, right. So this morning had to get up early. It's the circle of life. No, he survives. He survives. Well, I know, but now I'm, I'm, I'm not like that. So I gotta be like Bri's, like, no, you can't do that. You gotta give it to somebody. Or, or you could, you can't just let it go and let something eat it. I said eat that fucking chicken. No, stop. But I gotta tell you, hate something. Hate, I hate birds, but I gotta tell you something. So this chick other chicken mm-hmm. Gave us an egg a day. I can't eat them Egg. No, I can either. I can't. Let me ask you something. Mark balled one of them yesterday and almost vomited because he ate it. I said, you're, this is disgusting. I don't know what it is. I can't do it. God provides, I can't do it unless I'm starving. You're gonna starve like a motherfucker. It's just like people go get their, even though I, Mark's gonna be fat and happy. Yes. I mean, if I started, because it's all protein. Yeah. But even. I know I eat eggs starving. I eat meat. I eat fish. Bitch, I'm gonna die them motherfucking eggs for Easter. Me and I knew it. I'm done. I can't wait. Mark bring me some eggs. I'll fry them bitches up. I said, babe, literally, I, I feel like I'm gonna vomit knowing you're about to eat that fish. They're meant to be eight. And he's like, what is your problem? I don't know. There's something about it. If somebody caught a fish and cooked it in front of me, I wouldn't eat it either. Uh, even if I had a bull, a cow, you slot. I am not eating them. Even though I eat the stuff, I don't know what it is. It's something I can't get past. I have to get past it, but I can't. I mean, I guess if I was starving, I would, I mean, I eat it every day. What's the problem? I, it's no d What do you think? They fa in a fucking, no, I don't know. Store. Well, that's worse. I should eat the, that's what I'm saying to you. I know, but he started bowling. I was like, I felt woozy. You started going. I felt woozy, so, yeah. Yeah, we, we've gotten four. You have fucking issues. I do. This is what I'm saying. Y'all don't understand, mom, we make these shirts because this is the truth. I got issues. Therapy is expensive, and her talking with me about her shit every day, it ain't like it gets better for me. One saved the lives of your family members, maybe saved your coworkers lives. Oh, definitely. And certainly saved you money from going to therapy yourself. Yeah, I think I need intense therapy. Thank you. You're welcome. Intense therapy bitch. I will hook you up to some. What the hell's that we'll zap your brain? Hell no. I'm gonna Electric shock therapy. Oh. Actually I wouldn't do it with that kind though. I would get a taser. I'll TAs your ass every time you say something. I tased my boob one time. Shut your face accident. At Tony's house, it was real dark outside and I was waiting for him and I kept lighting it up'cause it was so dark and I was messing around. Ah shit. My, I swear I tased. Oh, real taser. Yeah. I had a big one. The, and it like, hell yeah. That sounds kinky. Boob. Boob. Okay. Was Mark with you? I was by myself. That's why I was doing Oh, that's why you were scared. You're like, oh God, help me. Help me help the Lord. It was dark Al dude. Oh shoot. Okay. Anyway, well tased my booby. I guess that's what we did back in the day for fun. Yeah. I was waiting and it was dark and I was like messing with it. Mm-hmm. Hey, who? So that's my chicken story. So now I got two chickens. One right now is in a pen.'cause the other chicken's pecking at it, I feel. But like, dude, why? Why? Why is he doing this to me? Well, so here's the lesson of the day people, okay? If you buy somebody an animal, ask them first. Make sure they actually want the fucking thing. Which mark? We were thinking about getting it a friend eventually, but I'm, I just got this chicken. I don't even know nothing about this chicken. A friend, what do you mean? It. This is a friend, a company. It's a company. Company. A companion. Yeah. No. Yeah. That's why you can't eat them eggs. Why? Because you think of them eggs. It's a pet. No, they're not pets. Well, it is to me because if now something happened to that chicken, it's like, I, this is why we don't give you animals. This is, this is why. I don't know too, I told her, she said, mom, if something happens to this chicken now, not that you don't get me wrong. Not that you shouldn't be sad, but they're like pets once you have'em, because you named it. Well, I got a couple names for you. I say Bertha, but Mark don't like Bertha. Why? I don't know. I mean, she's a fatty, but she's not, but she's not big Bertha. But this other one, I gotta name it, but it's what you gonna name him? I don't know. I might do milking cookies. Mm-hmm. One's white. One's brown. Milk. Milk and cookies. Cookies. Kind of like that. What else can I do? You don't wanna know. I suggest y'all go ahead and comment in the cookies. You got a white chicken and a brown chicken. The cookie one us some names have a bigger neck. It's, it's a little different than my little cute whitey. It's gonna be, they say choke a chicken, but it does have pretty colors. That's big necks. And you'd rather choke a big one That neck flares up and bri's like, no. That scares me. That scares me. She could never be around a peacock. I don't like birds to begin with. First of all. Yes. I don't know if I've ever talked about that horror story, but we'll talk about that later'cause But they all come to you. I tried to get her to pet my chicken. I was holding it. She wouldn't pet it. Many men have tried to get me to pet their chicken out it. You're disgusting. You know? And we will end it on that note. There it is. A chicken, not a cac. Well it's a rooster. Rooster. A hen. Mines. Mines are hens. Mines are hins. Mines is hins because it lays an egg. All right. Well, you know, it's been one of those, um, episodes where we pretty much just talk about random shit again. You know why? That's where our brain goes, one to the next, to the next, and next. It's whatever. As I said, we fart dust, fart dust. Hopefully there's no smell to it. There's no, that's my place. There's no smell to mine. On that, we're gonna go ahead and drink this, drink out. How are we gonna drink all this? Dude, let's shuck it. Chug it. We're gonna say fuck it and send it. Fuck it. Have a great day. We're gonna this whole thing. Fuck it. No bye. Who's this bitch? You want me to be honest? They're like, damn, it's only gonna get better. It'll only get, it can only get better. Oh, bougie. If you like it, you like it, you love it. You love it, you don't. Bye. Who gave us the mic? What idiot gave us the mic? So your mother called you fat. Okay. I know now you didn't. I love flip the cup. You're welcome. Thank you. Damn right. You're welcome. Damn right. Hey, everyone knows the rules. Well, we're trying to save some lives, save some lives. Well, then it's too late to turn back. Is it ma'am? Honestly, probably too late. You're addicted. Setting me up to fail is pretty much what she's doing. No lies. God damn it. Okay, so that's getting edited. Bye. I mean, I must be perfect because yeah. Hit us up on TikTok. Yes, Facebook, Instagram, follow us. Hot takes are coming. Like hot cakes. Hot takes hot cakes. She hungry. Oh.